Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
