Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
