he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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