this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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