i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
