Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
