I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
