Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
