i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
