whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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