i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
