i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
