hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
