Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
