actually, I'm a sock model
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
