brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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