i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
