I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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