I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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