i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to calm my uterus...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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