im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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