Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
