pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
