id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
