i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
