Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
