I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
