I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
