did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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