You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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