peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
