Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize