i may or may not be watching the land before time
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
