I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
