Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
