i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
