I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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