i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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