Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
