you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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