maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
