You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
