you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
