I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize