he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
