Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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