Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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