Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
