The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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