the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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