i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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