Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
