so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
