I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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