Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
