I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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