I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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