You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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