i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
