maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
