I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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